The Fly – flap
Ok now. I can hear you think. A fly flap and blogging, those things have nothing in common. Nothing. OK I guess you all need a little more information on this Fly – flapping thing.
The fly flap – as we know it – is a contraption, thought up maybe thousands of years ago out of necessity. People at that time didn’t have fridges to keep their food cool and this was the next best solution to keep the bugs away from their fresh butchered meat.
Later on, people found out, that is was also helpful in keeping flies and other bugs away from themselves. Sure, you can try to smack the fly with your hand, but those flies are faster than a rocket powered lawn mower. And those things go fast. Fly flaps are lightning fast. And leave red burning marks on your arms and / or shoulders.
Just imagine you being a fly, minding your own business, sitting on this bloody mass of meat at the butcher and – out of nowhere – this green swatter totally dismembers your six legs from your hairy body.
Your bodily fluids oozing over the meat. Your last act as a swattee for the swatter. Eat and die. No more merry meat eating moments.
Fly Flaps can also be used as a tool of terror. On little dogs for instance. You don’t want to actually hit him with it, but just by making a connection in the dog’s brain that makes the association bad behavior - flyflap – I’m a bad boy – is enough.
If you are consistent with the flyflap (action – reaction – result) just saying something like “Do I need to get the fly flap” is enough to let the little dog understand that he’s done something wrong.
How do I know all his (or think I do)? It’s all because of Cesar, that likable guy. I’m telling you, I don’t always agree with some of the methods he uses, but he gets results. Well… at least in his TV shows. I bet some of those miracles took more than one take to shoot. I do understand it’s just TV.
Cesar, he knows his way with dogs, but does he with people? I don’t know. There are ‘whisperers’ for just about anything. Dogs, cats, horses, skunks, just to name a few. Whadda ya know. Hereby I am opening a position for the ‘person whisperer’. Or ‘jerk whisperer’ or ‘asshole whisperer’. I guess you can come up with a few positions too, huh?
Just think about it. Wouldn’t it be nice sometimes to have one around the house?
Now you still have no clue what a fly flap and blogging have to do with each other. Let’s keep it that way.
Happy Fly Flapp’ing